Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Renaissance Blogfest #REN3 Week Two 465 Words Prompt: A relationship Becomes complicated Title: Outside

Calon was tired. His muscles were sagging; maybe it was the lack of moisture in his system. He had to find water soon that was certain. When he got this thirsty he felt light somehow, altered by the sensation of need and even a releasing of the need all at once. When he was thirsty he thought of her even more. She had been his water ever since they were children. He remembered playing tag with her and the way her hair seemed to be a separate animal flying behind her as they went faster and faster until they collapsed in a heap. They had always jumped up quickly when they were children. Calon knew he was grown up the first time their game of tag had ended in them lingering for just that extra moment and catching each other’s eyes. She had always been his world. He sat in the mine smiling to himself, almost living in those moments before they had ended up in this dark hell. He had to find her and get them out but he was not sure this was possible any longer. At first when she had run out of the small area that they had tried to turn into a sort of shelter he had been sure he would rescue her and they would be able to return to Renaissance. Leaving had been so bizarre and painful. They were of the old families and it had been harder and harder to accomplish simple tasks with the hate rising all around them. The glory of their shared childhood seemed cruel in a way. It had not prepared them for anything but love and in their innocence they thought love would be enough. Hunger and thirst had given him a new perspective on love and its power. She had left him because she was hungrier for food than his love, at least that was the only thing he could come up with. Otherwise why would she have dashed away from him with such passion and speed, yelling at him all the while, You musn’t leave me. You musn’t leave me? Calon needed her to come back. Maybe men rescuing woman was all just a myth anyway he thought. I need her to rescue me. As that thought faded and slipped in his dehydrated brain Calon dozed off yet again.
           
The next time Calon woke it was because he felt someone looking at him. A tingle went up the back of his neck and into his hair. He did not open his eyes. What good would it do with no light anyway? He tried to slow his breathing and listen. Calon listened with his entire body and soul trying to discover who or what was there in darkest hell with him.

 Week One Post is here: http://jt52weeks.blogspot.com/2011/10/ren3-week-one-489-words-title-inside.html

11 comments:

  1. Nice contrast and perspective to the first installment. Seems like the two characters so far are _probably_ looking for each other - but with one character and two installments to go, there sure are a lot of threads you could pursue.

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  2. I just read both parts. I love how you write it from both views. Can't wait to see who's the third character. :-)

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  3. Very interesting to discover each character in their solitude! I am shattered to discover that love isn't enough ;) I do hope this has a happy ending...

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  4. Such a lonely feeling piece. You captured the essence of that emotion quite well. Excellent installment. Looking forward to next time. :)

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  5. Ooh, getting more mysterious. Can't wait to see who really *is* there.

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  6. "She had been his water"... great line!

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  7. Good switching of the POV.

    Looking forward to week three.

    Stuart
    Co-Host
    Tale Spinning

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  8. Thanks all for comments! Wow, I love love love love writing this way! So happy for the Renaissance gang!

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  9. Ooh, another interesting character and perspective. Perhaps the previous character is the one he's looking for? And how does the third character come into play? I'll just have to wait til next week I guess. =)

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  10. Quite interesting...anxious for part 3.

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