Great job, Jodi...congrats! By the way, I've tagged you... Check out my website at: http://4ambassadorsofchrist.blogspot.com/ The details are there on my latest blog...have fun!
So, I did not make it through the next cut but I did get these reviews. I found it helpful to read them as there things I agree with and can use to improve and things I don't and can be happy about my own creative concepts...The one thing I most disagree with is about my "efforts to be original"...I AM original..no effort at all there...maybe the reviewer simply doesn't like my kind originality. That is fine. The other thing is that the excerpt the reviewers read IS disjointed...they were barely into the story so of course all the pieces did not come together yet. So, I think that is a weird comment but whatever. That was what they felt. I like the disjointed way Violet moves through the stroy arc. We are all different in what we like. I have dysnomia so I often put words in out of the box combinations and tell stories in disjointed ways. Matches my original thinking :) ...I like it. The one reviewer didn't. OK. I am really glad I did this contest. Great learning opportunity.
ABNA Expert Reviewer What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt? This is a very unique story filled with dynamic characters. It is well-written and the situations seem true to life. Another strong point to the story is the descriptive languages and conversations between characters.
What aspect needs the most work? The part that needs the most work in this story would probably be the transitional passages. There were some areas of the story that seemed as though they were missing something and left the reader a little confused. (For example the first chapter into the second chapter.)
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt? Overall I think this was a strong body of work. It is pretty well written the characters are interesting (and lifelike) and the plot line already has several twists. The story overall is pretty gripping and is one the reader would not want to put down.
ABNA Expert Reviewer What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt? This writer does a nice job of creating a back story for the guard. Fairly good character development for that individual. The author seems to have a good grasp of the technical aspects of writing. Grammar and syntax are quite solid.
What aspect needs the most work? Try to find a focus for your story right from the beginning. Violet's jaunt seems purposeless, and it's confusing when you suddenly switch from her point of view to that of the guard. We start off thinking Violet is central to the story, until you abandon her and give us a character study and life history of the guard. Your story then loses whatever momentum it may have had up to that point. As we continue with the story, the frequent switching back and forth between the viewpoints of the two characters makes the story even more confusing and unfocused. Descriptions are strained and call attention to your efforts to be original. e.g. "her hair was the texture of chalk on a sidewalk"
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt? It felt disjointed and contrived. This excerpt is confusing to read and doesn't give much of an idea of the direction of the story. Violet's trip down the street and through the museum was not particularly interesting, and her character is not convincing. If this story is to hold the interest of young adult readers, it will need a more compelling beginning and a better idea of what we have to look forward to if we continue reading.
Congratulations, Jodi! What's your book about?
ReplyDeleteIt is a young adult novel. The focus is on relationships and the characters are quirky :)...thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Jodi...congrats! By the way, I've tagged you... Check out my website at: http://4ambassadorsofchrist.blogspot.com/ The details are there on my latest blog...have fun!
ReplyDeleteWooohooo!!!! That is AWESOME! Well done! That by itself is a fantastic achievement. Keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the kind congrats! I am still just taking it in and feeling so excited. Very happy and affirming! :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! This is very exciting =)
ReplyDeleteThank you :) inluvwithwords it is keeping me motivated, that's for sure!
ReplyDeletecongratulations!
ReplyDeleteSo, I did not make it through the next cut but I did get these reviews. I found it helpful to read them as there things I agree with and can use to improve and things I don't and can be happy about my own creative concepts...The one thing I most disagree with is about my "efforts to be original"...I AM original..no effort at all there...maybe the reviewer simply doesn't like my kind originality. That is fine. The other thing is that the excerpt the reviewers read IS disjointed...they were barely into the story so of course all the pieces did not come together yet. So, I think that is a weird comment but whatever. That was what they felt. I like the disjointed way Violet moves through the stroy arc. We are all different in what we like. I have dysnomia so I often put words in out of the box combinations and tell stories in disjointed ways. Matches my original thinking :) ...I like it. The one reviewer didn't. OK. I am really glad I did this contest. Great learning opportunity.
ReplyDeleteABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
This is a very unique story filled with dynamic characters. It is well-written and the situations seem true to life. Another strong point to the story is the descriptive languages and conversations between characters.
What aspect needs the most work?
The part that needs the most work in this story would probably be the transitional passages. There were some areas of the story that seemed as though they were missing something and left the reader a little confused. (For example the first chapter into the second chapter.)
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
Overall I think this was a strong body of work. It is pretty well written the characters are interesting (and lifelike) and the plot line already has several twists. The story overall is pretty gripping and is one the reader would not want to put down.
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
This writer does a nice job of creating a back story for the guard. Fairly good character development for that individual.
The author seems to have a good grasp of the technical aspects of writing. Grammar and syntax are quite solid.
What aspect needs the most work?
Try to find a focus for your story right from the beginning. Violet's jaunt seems purposeless, and it's confusing when you suddenly switch from her point of view to that of the guard. We start off thinking Violet is central to the story, until you abandon her and give us a character study and life history of the guard. Your story then loses whatever momentum it may have had up to that point. As we continue with the story, the frequent switching back and forth between the viewpoints of the two characters makes the story even more confusing and unfocused.
Descriptions are strained and call attention to your efforts to be original. e.g. "her hair was the texture of chalk on a sidewalk"
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
It felt disjointed and contrived. This excerpt is confusing to read and doesn't give much of an idea of the direction of the story. Violet's trip down the street and through the museum was not particularly interesting, and her character is not convincing.
If this story is to hold the interest of young adult readers, it will need a more compelling beginning and a better idea of what we have to look forward to if we continue reading.