The door swung
open then slammed shut again with a loud bang. Violet looked up from her book.
She didn’t want to stop reading but she decided she better go check on Ginny
and the baby. This storm had been such a bother. When she stood up she felt the
air sucked out her lungs. Maybe I
have just been sitting too long she thought. As she walked closer to
the door her eyes began to hurt and she felt wobbly.I wish I had someone to check on me was her next thought.
Slowly she made her way across the long room. She was cold and her thoughts
were jumbled. She couldn’t remember why she had stopped reading. Violet had
long arms and as she reached out for the door knob it seemed to her that her
arm was getting longer, her fingers began to feel thin and she could see them
glowing in the bit of light that came from the window. Violet thought she
should be feeling something—fear or pain but she nearly giggled when she
realized she didn’t. She laughed to herself realizing a new door had finally
opened, a door to the other side.
Ohhh! VERY nice! I really liked this one... how her mental state so quickly deteriorates.
ReplyDeleteGreat description of Violet's confusion. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteWhoa. Kind of reminded me of "The Yellow Wallpaper." Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you each and all...wow, this is fun. Really amazing to read so many takes on that prompt. I need to take the risk to comment on some of the other challenge posts. Feeling a bit shy but I'll jump in...I sure know it feels great to read your words! :
ReplyDeleteThanks again....
Oh, very cool premise. I love the last line. :)
ReplyDeletestartling turn of events. i like to be surprised! well done!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed that story!
ReplyDeleteDrugged maybe? Or too close to another dimension? Nice scene! I'm a new follower from the campaign:)
ReplyDeleteA very interesting take on this. I'm loving all of the different stories. I'm #72
ReplyDeleteWhew, so great to hear from you all! Happy! :)
ReplyDeleteJodi, I'm stopping by to let you know your story was one of my top 5 in this challenge. So, your story will advance to stage 2 in this challenge. Good luck. - Stacy
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you Stacy! I am a bit dazed. Really, really happy!
ReplyDeleteStill a few stages or rounds to go, but the first step (or word) is always fun and exciting. Have a wonderful writing week.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed! A wonderful {writing} week to you, too!
ReplyDeleteIt's a very intriguing and mysterious piece that starts out with a very believable setting. Is it science fiction or fantasy? It remains a mystery!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is a mystery isn't it :)...thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteA door to the other side? Nice one! I enjoyed the detail of your entry a lot, Jodi! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, nicely done! Descriptive and intriguing.
ReplyDeleteThanks David, I am happy you commented on details...that is something I was hoping for.
ReplyDeleteYeah for your feedback Christine...descriptive! yipppeee...intriguing woot :)
Interesting! Definitely leaves us hanging! Nice work! Christy
ReplyDeleteGood job! Well done on getting through to the next round :)
ReplyDeleteI loved how this story progressed. It was great! Congrats on making it to round 2 :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I am happily surprised by this whole wonderful process. All of your comments are so helpful and affirming! Isn't this campaign great?!?!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. I liked it!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.doreenmcgettigan.com
So intriguing! Enjoyed this Jodi :)Nicely done!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.coleenpatrick.com
Yipppeee! Will blog hop to your 'pads' soon :)!
ReplyDeleteGreat change from normal to surreal--creepy factor!
ReplyDeleteI particularly love the ending of this piece.Thanks for commenting on mine, the #279.
ReplyDeleteThanks also for joining the The Rule of Three Blogfest , would really appreciate it if you blog about the event, and also spread the word on twitter at the hashtag #REN3.
Looking forward to your story set in the town of Renaissance!
Ooh! I got goosebumps at the end! And I'm truly hoping it's your skills as a writer and attention to detail that made me so quickly relate to what the character was feeling and not that I have ever experienced something similar. 0.o Lol!Maybe I'm already on the other side. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis was so much more developed than most flash fiction. Hope you're going to place it in something larger. Good fun.
ReplyDeleteThis feels like a smaller end to a larger story. Would love to see this expanded. Really liked it.
ReplyDeleteYou have written an intriguing and mysterious piece. From such a normal setting you warped the world within a few sentence. Fantasy? Good luck with the challenge.
ReplyDeleteTHanks all for insightful comments. Interacting with you all about this piece is pushing me to write even more...a lovely outcome for the journey I am on. I plan to visit everyone I can on Wednesday :).
ReplyDeleteRead. Write. Love.
Hi, couldn't find an email so I figured I'd just leave a comment. I wanted to let you know that your piece has been chosen to advance into the semi-finals. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI am totally thrilled to be in the semi-finals! What a great feeling to have writers read my work and find it worthwhile!
ReplyDeleteOK.... super happy dance :)!!!!